How to Be Your Child's Closest Friend and Confidante

"Why do I need to be my child's friend? You may ask. What he needs is discipline, not friendship".

Here are five reasons why you need to be your child's friend. 

1.  Communication will become better between the two of you. Many cases of drug abuse,  rape,  teenage pregnancy or abortion etc have occurred because the child believed no one cared. As parents we need to  learn when to put on the garb of parenting and when to replace it with that of friendship. Sometimes, all your child needs is not another sermon but a listening ear and someone to be there for him like a true friend would. 

2.  Discipline will become easier. 

      Ironically,  being your child's friend actually makes it easier to instil discipline. A child who has a close relationship with his parents is less likely to be rebellious and more likely to trust their judgement in matters of discipline even when not convenient for him. 

3.  You will earn your child's respect

      Your child will respect you and see you as positive role model and a mentor  which when you think about it is what parenting is really all about after all.

4.  You will boost year child's confidence

      Your child will develop the confidence he needs to face the world and make an impact.  He not likely to be a victim of low self esteem or fall into the trap of negative peer pressure. 

5.  He will becomea responsible and caring teenager and adult

      Building and maintaining a good relationship with your child will help him develop the virtues of tolerance and kindness. Such a child will grow up with fewer adolescent and teenage problems than most of his peers and as such become a blessing to not only his parents but the society as a whole. 

The traauma of separation and divorce

The trauma experienced by couples affected by separation or divorce can best be imagined. No one should ever have to go through it. Not only is it damaging to the victim it is also embarassing, diminishes the self esteem and certainly makes one to lose trust in love and relationship.

But bad as all these may be, believe me, the worst hit are the children.

The children inevitably lose the security of a loving and stable home that they so desperately need to form their identity and values.

That is why Children from broken  homes usually have self esteem problems.

These are some of the effects of a broken home on a child:
-low self esteem
-fear of everything (the dark, failure, success, love or emotion, and many more. )
-inability to pursue projects to its logical conclusion
-timidity
-rebellion
-aggression
-bullying (either as an aggressor or a victim)
-lack of initiative and creativity
-inability to reach their full potential due to fear of failure
-tendency to procastinate
-tendency to fall into wrong relationship and marriage
-irrational anger etc

Depending on the circumstances, a child will exhibit some or all of these symptoms.

For me this has made me to review marriage and childbearing not only as a culmination of love but as a call to service and responsibility.