Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Teenagers and Sex

Today, we shall be discussing teenagers and sex. 

At what age do you think that your teenage child should begin to have sex? 
Most parents do not want to face the reality of their child having sex.

You don't want to imagine that your child that was learning to walk just a few years ago is already involved in sex.

Those whose children are not yet teenagers are probably breathing a sigh of relief. Well mine is still in a few years to come, you're probably thinking. 

But i urge you not to be too relaxed yet. Children are having sex as early as ten years old these days.

But what can we as parents do to curtail our children from having sex at young ages?

Well the thing to first understand is that it is not about the children having  sex but that the children usually don't even understand fully what they are doing.

Most times these children are pressured into sex either by peer pressure, or by a boyfriend they want to please.

They themselves are not sure what they really want and don't have the necessary information to be able to know exactly what stand to take in the matter.

They therefore go along with it as a matter of course.

The N0. 1 solution is for we parents to be very open to our children. We must discuss honestly and openly the issue of sex with them.

It helps if you are able to discuss mistakes (and 90% of us have made them) that you yourself have made on issue of sex as a young man or woman.

In the event that you are lucky not to have made any mistakes yourself, then refer to the mistakes of someone close to you who your child also knows.

The reasons why sex continues to be on the upsurge among youths are:

1. Parents don't discuss the issue of sex with their children

2. Parents discuss the issue of sex with their children when it's too late or almost too late.

3. Parents discuss the issue of sex with their children as a parent to child passing on instruction or admonition to their child. This never works especially for older children.

Your child must know why it is in her best interest to wait until she is more matured before she begins to have sex.

4. When parents discuss sex with their children, they are not honest in their discussions.  Children can see through this right away.

5. Parents give only half information about sex to their children, either because they are too embarrassed to delve deep into the issue of sex with their children or they are afraid the child will end up using the information wrongly.

In this situation, you have to trust your child to use the information you give her on sex wisely. You have no other choice.

I know now with hindsight that it is best not to have sex until you get married, just the way God intended it from the beginning.

But this might be hard to sell to a sixteen year old except you have opened the communication line to her for a long time and she feels free to discuss the topic of sex with you at any time.

Lastly, many parents ask at what age to begin to educate their children.  I say, as soon as they are able to understand you when you tell them don't do that...whatever that may.

At the age of 3 years is what i would say. At that age you can just tell them.   'Don't allow anyone to touch you here (you point to her private part). If anyone, even if it is an uncle or auntie touches your bum bum, shout for help!' 

Already you have started to educate the child.
In the long run, having a healthy, open, and honest communication regarding the issue of sex regularly will help your child to be well educated sexually. And this will help her to make informed decisions about when or why she is having sex.

In the eventuality that she does begin to have sex, at least you will know that she knows exactly what she is doing and why and most importantly how to best protect herself.



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